Never good enough

So I was reading a book and this was what I saw.

And I thought: "This is how I actually think about myself every single day." Which girl is not afraid of being fat or being ugly?

Whenever I look at my reflection, I think to myself, "Why am I so fat?", "Ewww. My thighs, arms and stomach so flabby." and "I'm so damn ugly." And people keep saying, "Where got sia? You so skinny already. You fat then I what sia?" Sigh. I just think damn lowly of myself luh. I just can't bring myself to say positive things to myself when I know that there are prettier and skinnier girls out there. I'm never good enough for anyone.

What's worse, society judges. It's like you don't fit in? Nobody wants to be your friend. Who doesn't judge? But in the end, who are we to judge? Some people judge people without reflecting on themselves first. That, it really pisses me off.

*Rant alert* SO YOU THINK YOU BETTER THAN THEM LAH? THEN NO EVIDENCE PROVE. STUPIAK ARH YOU. SAY PEOPLE THEN YOU'RE NOT ANY BETTER. LAME SIA. AT LEAST PROVE YOURSELF YOU BETTER OR SOMETHING LAH.

Being a girl is real damn hard. Avoiding good food, skipping meals, extreme exercising, having the fear of gaining weight. Overreacting over a small pimple. And many other reasons. (Because there's really too many.)

One more thing, I envy guys. SO MUCH. YOU GUYS EVERYTIME SO SKINNY. KEEP WANT TO GAIN WEIGHT BUT CAN'T. I WANT THAT KIND OF BODY THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I EAT, ALSO WON'T GAIN WEIGHT ONE. AND YOU ALL ALWAYS EAT SO MUCH SOMEMORE.
HAHAHA. Okay luh. I'll stop here. Bye. xx